2005-03-01

The Memoirs of Max the Unemployed Dreamer

Working in the financial services industry was not without its perks. The Visa interst rate was 10.5% and my bank card was the gold kind. It was baically the big shot card where all fees were waived etc. Then, I quit. I think the time has come for me to explain why I left soon.

So, it goes without saying I lost all my employee privileges. Today, I got my BLUE bank card in the mail. Blue meaing I'm just any other shlepp now. I feel like Ray Liotta as Henry Hill in 'Goodfellas' when he said if you weren't a mobster you were a nobody. Anyhow, 9 years of service down the tubes. It hurt. That was cold, man. I wanted to call a compassionate hotline to ask them to just let me keep the employee package wink, wink. But this is the banking world we're talking about. They are 4th in the hiearchy of evil scale behind Satan, insurance companies, and Loto and Lottery gambling outfits. I'm not sure where the government and politcally correct lobbysist fit in there but I'll find a spot for them.

Not much happened to me today. I went to a whore house, went for an espresso with Sofia Loren, wrote an episode of 'The Simpsons' and offered some advice to some Members of Parliament on how to match their ties with their suits. Then, I woke up and went to shovel 16 cm of snow. There was so much snow I uncovered an elderly person with her grocery bags who was buried. Thank God she bought non-perishables.

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