2005-07-19

Max: Naturally, Culturally and Structurally Unemployed

My cholesterol level remains persistent. I work-out and if I eat any more purely I will shit nothing but leaves the rest of my life. My stool will be as mustard as a new born's. The thing that pisses me off about this whole thing is twofold. One, I have to take pills (placebo effect?) because it's hereditary and two, everyone I talk to is a fucking genius and expert on cholesterol. Clogged arteries, heart attacks, bad cholly (as I call it) and good cholly. Did you ask your doctor this question and that question. Fuck off, the plain truth is that we don't know what causes cholly and what keeps it in check. Of course, some nut homo-path always has the secret concoction to cure your ailment with their bullshit. "Eat this garlic-yogourt bar for 30 days and you will see how conventional medicine doesn't work." It's like having to listen to idiots comment on whatever you eat. "Ooo, cereal. Carbs. Not good." What are these people babbling about? Kiss my unemployed ass and let me eat my Fruit Loops in peace while reading 'Archie'.

I tried to put my pantry in order again. It seems whenever I do so, it gets disorganized within a week. It's like little evil nomes go inside and dance all over it. I get so confused with all the cans, boxes, shapes and sizes. Nothing fits in an orderly fashion. Cream style corn, granola bars, balsamic vinegar...I don't know anymore. Why must life be so hard?

I went to my friends Baptism course today. I was bored. Anyway, I never realized how much I forgot about Christianity. I actually liked it. Except for the assholes who kept pretending to be smart by asking the most retarded questions. One guy asked the Sister "Miss, just for fun, how many seats does the Church have?" The Sister was stunned. His wife chuckled as if it was cute. Jeebs, who was with us looked at her and said "Don't giggle, your every bit as stupid if not dumber because you produced a child with this waste of space and time." I told Jeebies he was crazy. "What? I didn't even swear!"

Speaking of Jeebies, he was the son of actors so it explains a lot, I think his frontal brain is out of order. Apparently that part of the brain controls your inhibitions or lack thereof in his case. We were at a Mass for a funeral and not surprisingly Jeebies manages to entertain and embarrass at the same time. First of all, he came late and I noticed him coming from behind as he looked for us but he tripped and fell. He disappeared for 5 seconds and suddenly and slowly his eyes began to emerge. It was straight out of a B-flick. Later on in the Mass, we had to shake hands in peace with our respective neighbours. Generally, the protocol is E-W-N-S and that's it. Well after everyone is done this important but hardly observed ritual, Jeebies is still shaking hands like he's in a club.

We went outside. I looked up at the beautiful sky and wondered where the hell I'm going. Not then and there but down the road. NO sense in getting down on myself. My spirit and hopes remain high....for now.

1 comment:

  1. You have to get some of those gnomes to buy you a few bottles red wine for your pantry. That's good for keeping your cholesterol down...and making you forget you problems if you drink enough.

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