2013-04-29

Hit And Jog: Boston Investigations Continue And Personal Stories

-Always remember, what's insane to us is normal to them.

-The cops didn't find the second bomber. A citizen did who then called the cops.

-Looking like female DNA found on the pressure cooker. Nice.

- A little annoyed with the belief that under the Bush White House ignorance of Islam was rampant line I keep hearing from liberals. Bush made TWO things clear: 1) America was not at war with Islam but with Islamic terrorism and 2) he/they believed Islam to be a legitimate religion; a peaceful religion.

- A doctor (a psychiatrist I believe) in Boston would like to study the older brother's brain in the interest of science to determine why he did what he did. Specifically, to see if there was damage to a part of the brain that may have led to his actions caused by boxing.

****

On a side note, my neighbor's kids are starting to piss me off. I'm about to sound like an old man waving his fists at the sky.

It's about parking.

Now, parking is a public space. Anyone can park anywhere. However, I kinda have a problem when you have a large enough driveway that can fit three cars and a spot in front of your house that can fit an additional three cars yet you still park in front of my house.

It's very wtf?

Even though we can't park on one side of the street until April 30, she could have parked, as she always did, a couple of feet further up to leave me my little god damn spot.

Between neighbours we all get to know and feel how we operate our spaces. The man across the street from me has a large company truck he parks, appropriately, in front of his house. NO ONE would think to park there. I've never seen it.

And so it is with my house. I park in front of my house. They know that.

Yet, every now and then, there they are.

Here's the kicker. There's more than ample space to park in a way such that this is not necessary. Specifically, all my neighbour's daughter had to do was advance her car two lousy feet. There's, like, 50 feet of space.

Why she opted to park right in front of my house I'll never know.

On my way back from work, it was a trying drive. People driving 30 km/hr in a 60 zone - that sort of thing.

Once home, I didn't want to park in front of her. Part of me wanted to send a message that was likely going to go unheeded or unnoticed. The other neighbor noticed the situation and I got the feeling he wasn't impressed with our neighbor.

I bitterly decided to park in front of their house - which is retarded.

At this point, you might be wondering, why don't I park in my driveway? Because my wife does and she leaves at 6am to go to work so we try not to block each other.

On top of all that, her parents saw what was going on. i figured, seeing I have a pretty good relationship with the father, he'd say something and she'd come out.

Wishful thinking. Nothing. Not sure if that pisses me off too.

She broke a common etiquette I thought we had set an understanding for. And it irritated me this time.

Mind you, in addition to not having a good drive back having to deal with slow poke drivers (ever notice how they never use turn signals?), but had to contend with the fact my wife was on the phone during supper (which I can't stand because it's usually with her friend. One of those types who always has a problem or high drama in their life) so I couldn't speak with her since she was being monopolized and hypnotized (I think), and the fact that the fucking automatic garage door busted thus ruining my plans to get a jump start on some planting and continuing to fix my weed infested grass.

When my wife got off the phone, after a couple of glares from me, I was done eating but she sat down to eat and asked why I didn't eat the Brussels Sprout which set me off.

Wife: What's wrong?
T.C.: Must you always be on the phone like a squawking teenagers?
Wife: Oh, big problem with Karen. Her students...
T.C.: When isn't there a problem with her...
Wife: You didn't eat the Brussels Sprouts?
T.C.: I didn't see them.
Wife: They were right here. Can't you see?
T.C.: Oh, you mean in the tupperware? Know what I see when I see tuppeware? I see leftovers from your lunch.
Wife: Now, you're being childish. Can't you just open it?
T.C.: Can't you just put in a dish comme du monde?
Wife: Now, you're not self-sufficient?
T.C.: You made supper! What I'm saying is if you were not chirping away on the phone during supper you would have at least let me know exactly what you prepared. The counter is a mess, you pull things out of the fridge and just put them on the counter. I can't make sense of anything. Why is there fresh coriander in a bag? I don't feel like washing coriander or doing a puzzle when I'm hungry. I have work to do outside.
Wife: Well, I think you're over reacting. What's that coming out of your ears? Steam?
T.C.: I love my wife. I love my wife. Take the high road. Be mature. Be a man. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Wife: Weirdo.
T.C.: I'm going to watch the seal hunt on TV. I need to relax.
Wife: Before I forget, my car is in the garage and it doesn't open....and all the spoons are in the dishwasher....and I shrank one of your favorite tops....and your mother wants you to give your sister a day off...and you forgot to put a cinnamon bread in your daughter's lunch...and your sister wants a $600 eight-seat carriage for the daycare....and the land in Vermont you want to buy is too far for your mother...and I have my period...and your sister is upset the yard is a mess...and I want cedars...and....
 T.C (low, calm voice).: Did Joe bring a machete?
Wife: What?!
T.C: Did. He. Bring. The. Machete.
Wife: Why?
T.C.: To cut to pieces the dead apple tree in the yard.
Wife. Oh. Right. The apple tree....No, he didn't...I think I'm gonna go to bed now...(walks out quietly and gingerly backwards as T.C. stares at clementine and begins to talk to it....)






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